5.28.2004

Goobara

Fred 19:666:Give us this day our daily suppliment pills,
and forgive us our reality television,
as we forgive those reality tv shows before us.
Lead us not into American Idol,
for thine is the beer, the pizza and the weed,
for ever and ever
HAIL GOOBARA!

So yeah...The other day I discovered that Goobara was the only one and true God, and I got inspired and started writing a book. In a few thousand years someone will dig it up and all of civilization will be based on it's teachings, because I mean something that old has to be right when its telling you historical accounts of how Canada actually invaded russia with baby seals and slaughtered everyone.

Derricke 4:17-18:And in those days Goobara will crush the walls or Jeri--The vatican, and in his name will proceed to dismember and violate all that is inside, in the name of GOOBARA! HAIL!!

Derricke 6:29:Goobara will also bring a great flood of reality TV to the land of Sol, and in those days all previous entertainment purposes will be taken over in the name of the greater fat American couch potatoe who shockingly gapes at the next braindead trash piece of 'reality' you can shock into their apathethic turtle shelled skulls of vicarious existence.

So let it be said! So let it be done! HAIL GOOBARA THE ONE TRUE GOD!

5.22.2004

Everything In Its Right Place

I begin to drink my Molson Ultra beer, and I cheer to Matt who is drinking a whiskey and beer mix, and keeps putting his arm around me. But they eventually leave, and me and Chris are left to drink our beer alone. Matt and Brian thought we had weed.

Always remember, in this life whoever has weed or alcohol is your best friend. He can provide another taste of satisfaction for the evening. He can drown away all of your self - awareness. He can make you a king in your own mind. He can numb your hopelessness, your drowning brain cells, your welfare family, your fishing villages that turns you into an Indian Reserve. Alcohol is the opiate of complacency. Just another beer, another buzz, and everything will be ok again.